Categories
Reflections

A litany for the Black Cap

The Black Cap has been part of North London queer nightlife since the 1960s; my mum can tell some stories of drag shows there from the late 70s when she was at drama school, and it was a regular haunt for me when I was living, studying, worshipping and working in the Borough of Camden. It was in the Cap that I saw my first live drag, watched friends take their first steps onto stage, and most importantly I built some of my strongest queer friendships in the upper bar over a pint. Everyone I know who has taken part in the queer life of North London has a Black Cap story, and has loved the place.

In 2015, after a few false starts, the Cap closed its doors for the last time under threat of being turned into luxury flats. The cooperative #WeAreTheBlackCap holds wonderful, celebratory vigils there on Saturdays, including many fabulous folks I used to share communion with, both in church and after.

We are the Black Cap
Two campaigners outside the Black Cap in September 2018

The Cap is not the only queer venue in London (or beyond) that has been forced to close and left the community poorer. I was delighted when Deborah from the Guilty Feminist dedicated an episode to queer campaigning, invited me back to Camden (specifically, to the Regent’s Park Theatre) to give a litany for the Black Cap and our other safe spaces. This is that litany:

For the young person unsure about coming out,
We need our space
For the bisexual woman on her first date with a woman,
We need our space
For the non-binary person whose gender expression attracts stares in the wider world, We need our space
For the young person unsure about coming out,
We need our space
For the bisexual woman on her first date with a woman,
We need our space
For the non-binary person whose gender expression attracts stares in the wider world, We need our space
For the asylum seeking couple who have never felt safe to kiss outside a locked room until they arrived in the UK,
We need our space
For the straight person learning to be an ally,
We need our space
For everyone who has ever loved the queer community and what we stand for,
We need our space

In the memory of Regina Fong and her sisters and in the name of all that is queer and holy. Amen.

The full, incredible episode featuring Grace Petrie, the Oxford Belles, Say it Loud, Save the Black Cap, and Kemah Bob can be viewed below.

Categories
Real Life

Learning from the wheelchair weekend

I have always tried to understand how hard it can be as a disabled person to deal with getting around day-to-day. The world doesn’t make it easy; help is there but has to be specifically requested and the onus is on the traveler to calculate all the timings precisely. I’ve been aware of this for some time; I worked with disabled students at UCL and sat on the ‘Committee for People with Disabilities’*. I saw how hard it was for people, and like to think occasionally I helped to make it easier, but the fact is that the world was designed by people who don’t have to think about this stuff, and changing it will take a really long time.

As I’ve said, a lot of people in customer service work really hard to make life easier. The staff at Travelodge were excellent, and although the system didn’t seem to live up to much, once I’d managed to get support at Marylebone the staff were really helpful once they’d realised I was there!

Being dependent on taxis is really hard work; and a lot of cab drivers were really reluctant to lower the ramp or carry the wheelchair at all. The first time I tried to get into a cab on crutches, I fell over on the pavement twice and then had to crawl in – I refused to try again after that!

When you get into a black cab in London, there is a helpful diagram showing you how to position a wheelchair. It is to be wheeled up the ramp, then rotated 90 degrees so that it is facing backwards. The problem is, the wheelchair I was in (which is by no means oversized) didn’t have the space to rotate. I found that a little worrying. Obviously I’m fine, but if the guidelines exist, surely they do for a reason? Did no one stop to wonder if there would be wheelchairs that couldn’t be manipulated into that position? Why did none of the drivers of the four cabs I took in the wrong position reassure me that they believed it was safe? Why did I have to fight to get the ramp lowered? I don’t want to be difficult; I avoid confrontation when I can, but after the disastrous attempts to get into a cab independently at Marylebone I really wasn’t going to try again! When you only have one load-bearing leg and are still learning to use crutches, cab floors are too high and ceilings too low to allow it.

When you travel in a wheelchair or need assistance at a train station, you have to phone and pre-book assistance at both ends of the journey. Once you’re on the train, the staff at your station of origin should confirm with your destination that you’re on the train. The problem I found was that although two members of staff helped me onto the train, and another one assisted me at the barrier, at High Wycombe, no one phoned ahead to Marylebone. If they did, the message didn’t reach the people it needed to. I was left on the train until someone came aboard to clean and found me, but they did then help me and it was ok.

The other thing I noticed was that the attitude you face as someone in a wheelchair is unpredictable. A few people got onto the train with large bags, and obviously had hoped to be able to use the wheelchair space to store them. I was a bit embarrassed at their exasperation. Someone also tried to sit in one of the fold down seats but stopped because it would have meant folding it almost onto my lap, so tutted and moved away. I was a bit embarrassed. Of course, other people were very kind. Someone stopped on the way out of the train to ask if I would be ok to get off. I think she was partly responsible for finding a member of staff at Marylebone, actually.

The other thing I found was that people are somewhat prone to help without being asked! I once saw this happen to someone else; I was on the escalator at Angel tube (the longest on the Underground, fact fans), and a man in front of me was supporting himself in a wheelchair. It took a lot of concentration, and he was clearly very focused and knew what he was doing. I didn’t want to startle him by offering assistance and would never intervene without permission. I was shocked when a woman marched up the escalator, pushed me out of the way, and said, “Why will no one offer any help?” She just seized his wheelchair without asking permission.

I had the same experience trying to get from the Travelodge to Featherstone Street. People took hold of the wheelchair to move me up onto curbs, or out of their way. Someone even pushed me into the breakfast table mid-mouthful whilst I was still eating breakfast at the hotel! There is a very fine balance between assistance and interference. I was quite scared by people grabbing hold of the wheelchair to move me without asking. You become very conscious of just how vulnerable you really are.

The whole experience taught me a lot about how much we expect from disabled people. I don’t know that I see that changing any time soon, either. But we can all educate ourselves about what it’s really like.

Have a read of some of these blogs:
Through Myself and Back Again: Lil Watcher Girl, blogging about feminism, disablism and everything
Benefit Scrounging Scum: Bendy Girl, blogging about benefits and the reality of living on them

They both link to a number of other brilliant bloggers and activists.

*Yes, it is a stupid name. And apt; for a very long time there were no spaces reserved for disabled staff or students. 

Categories
Real Life

Navigating London in a wheelchair (part 2)

After yesterday, I suppose I should have predicted how tired I would feel waking up, but I underestimated by a long way!

Muscles I’d forgotten even existed in my arms and my right (i.e. non-broken) leg were sore as soon as I woke, but I managed to wash, dress and get down to breakfast in the hotel this morning.
The Travelodge staff were excellent at breakfast, they helped me to a table and collected my breakfast for me, then helped me to reception to check out and out onto City Road to head back for another day with TheSite.org Leaders.
I was astonished, however, that whilst I was eating breakfast, someone moved me out of their way! I suppose I was taking up a bit of space in a wheelchair, and he wanted to get past, so he pushed me forward into the table. It took me a second to register what had happened, I spilled the drink I had in my hand.
I thought I was running late for the morning session, and admittedly I suppose I was a bit cocky, so I tried to make my way along City Road on my own. It’s a five-minute walk, but took me about half an hour even with some help from nice people along the way. Again, one or two people took it upon themselves to move me in the wheelchair without asking, or telling me what they were going to do. I admit that I was struggling, but I was embarrassed to be struggling, and I felt even more embarrassed when I was just moved out of the way like an inanimate object.
I wouldn’t attempt something like that again – it was a pretty stupid idea – but I’ll admit I was pretty pleased with myself when I did finally make it to the office.
I had great fun in the morning with fellow-Leaders Katie and Tolu leading a session on developing and strengthening the Leaders’ network to achieve even more in the next twelve months than we have in the first year. We played a game at the beginning of our session where we asked people to label each other with a range of tasks they’ve completed in their time as volunteers. I had my labels collected on my cast – which had remained stubbornly undecorated over the previous ten days!
Later on, some of the girls took it a step further, so that before I left for church I had collected three very sweet messages!
Thanks, Rochelle, Rach and Sophie!
It always sucks to say goodbye at the end of the weekenders, but I hope we’re all pretty fired up and looking forward already to the next one!
I was lucky again to have some fab support getting to church, in the form of a lift from Debbie. She wrestled my heavy and clunky wheelchair single-handedly into the car and braved the wrath of Camden’s many over-keen traffic wardens to get me there. I honestly wouldn’t have managed it otherwise – I couldn’t have either got a cab or a bus without pretty serious difficulties.
Was lovely to be back at church after some time off – and I was really pleased that I managed to get up to celebrate communion and pray with some of the congregation against the odds. I had another lift home from one of the deacons, and am now thoroughly exhausted.
I’ll sleep well tonight.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Categories
Real Life

Navigating London in a wheelchair (part 1)

Before I broke my leg, I planned to attend a weekend of workshops with YouthNet at part of a programmed called TheSite.org Leaders. I enjoy the ‘weekenders’, always get to meet new volunteers and I’ve made some great friends through YouthNet over the years so it was one thing I was really keen not to miss out on.

However, the logistics of getting me and my broken leg from Bucks to Old Street turned out to be rather on the complicated side! Luckily,

I managed to get onto the train with the help of Chiltern Railways staff, but then almost didn’t get off it at Marylebone! Of course, I discovered a major advantage of being in a wheelchair on a busy Saturday morning train is that it guarantees you a seat. The disadvantage is that people with luggage who were expecting to be able to use the wheelchair space get somewhat openly frustrated to have to stand because someone’s parked a wheelchair there…

Thanks to the lovely Matt – a fellow Leader who’d traveled into Paddington – I eventually got off the platform. There was some problem because the wheelchair accessible barrier at platform 3 was set to entrance not exit, so we had to leave through platform 1 (more complicated than it sounds!) and it took a while to find a cab.

When we did find a cab, the driver couldn’t get the ramp out so I foolishly tried to get in on crutches. Hint: you can’t! The floor of a black cab is too high, and the ceiling too low. After a couple of undignified falls, I settled for the even-less-dignified crawling-and-dragging-my-cast method. Nightmare!

But eventually, we did make it to YouthNet and it was a relief to be settled somewhere that was both all one one level and navigable! I only had a couple of minor falls during the course of the day. (And, to be fair, they were my fault…)

We headed out to the Travelodge on City Road to check in. One of the volunteers took the unenviable task of pushing me along what might be the most uneven pavement in London, but did an admirable job of getting me there intact! I hadn’t booked a disabled room (I wasn’t broken at the time of booking!) so I was in a room a fair distance from the nearest lift. The corridors are narrow and winding, and the doors very heavy, but it was possible to get around unassisted. There was more than adequate space in my room to get around it either in the wheelchair or on crutches with the chair locked in place by the bed.

Getting out for dinner at The Breakfast Club (Hoxton), was surprisingly easy once we’d found a cab prepared to lower the ramp. Getting pushed up a ramp into a taxi is a pretty nerve-wracking experience, and my wheelchair was too big to manoeuvre into the safest position (back to the driver), but not uncomfortable.

It was easy enough to get the chair to a table at the back of the cafe when we arrived – and, of course, the food was absolutely delicious! I had a veggie burger with smoked applewood cheddar, and a Cadbury’s Caramel milkshake. Yum. Highly recommended – I always love the atmosphere of the place and the menu is consistently fab, even for awkward veggies.

The next adventure was to get from Hoxton Square to Rowans in Finsbury Park – positively one of my favourite places to spend an evening. It took ages to sort out a cab because it was Saturday night and the first two we booked didn’t arrive (thanks, Radio Taxis) so we hailed one from the street when it started raining!

I’d forgotten, because it was never relevant to me before, that Rowans is a very high step up from the street. Thankfully, there were two very nice – and very strong – security guys on the door who were amazing about getting me in and out. I was mortified, but can’t fault them for trying! The bowling lanes themselves are up a few steps, so I couldn’t get the chair up to the lanes and couldn’t carry a ball on crutches. No worries – it saved me a whole heap of embarrassment, as anyone who has been bowling with me will attest.

Getting back tired was a bit tricky – both my stamina and balance get very ropey when I’ve been out a long time, so getting myself back to my room and into bed was hard work, but I made it! I can’t help feeling a bit proud of myself…

Categories
Real Life

Morning on the orthopaedics ward

I didn’t sleep very well last night – there is a woman with dementia on the ward who gets very confused at night. The lights on the ward go out around 12:30 and come on again at 5:30. We get a cuppa at 6, but it’s a bit weak for my taste. This is an eternal problem for the Englishman away from home – no one else makes tea how I like it!

The nurses are delightful, and I’ve just had my first meal since yesterday morning. When I arrived on the ward, they’d already had dinner so I had some bread and butter and a cup of tea around 9pm. I’m not sure if it’s my hunger speaking, but I think the food is pretty good. Vegetarianism catered for and icecream at lunch time. It can’t be bad for me if it’s provided by the NHS, right?

Visiting starts in a couple of hours. I’m expecting Mum and Dad. They’ve cut a visit up north short. They were meant to be visiting family friends on the way back from a wedding, but have decided to come down to the southwest instead. Amy might also pop in, which would be excellent. She’s at a spa today winding down from last night’s hen frivolities. I’m looking forward to seeing the pictures!

The surgical team visited this morning, but my ankle is still too swollen to operate. It might be tomorrow, or as late as Wednesday. If they can operate tomorrow it’s not worth being transferred home. It’s no easier for most of my friends to visit Wycombe, anyway, and I like and trust the doctors here now. I’ll see what Mum and Dad think.

I’m beginning to realise what an impact this might really have. At first it was just funny, but now I’m having to have assistance with almost everything (I insist on dressing myself and using the commode alone – but the fact I have to use a commode is pretty awkward). I obviously won’t be at church today, but it doesn’t seem very likely I’ll be able to march with LGSW in WorldPride London either, and I’ve been looking forward to that all year. I’m not even sure if I can continue as a GamesMaker for London 2012, which would be a devastating loss.

Categories
Craft Patterns

Theatreknit’s Warm Winter Socks

This pattern was donated as part of my campaign to get people knitting for a London homeless shelter. Thanks to Ravelry’s Theatreknit. I have added links to knittinghelp.com in places where you might need extra intstructions. 


Yarn: DK weight (sample knitted with Patons DK with wool)
Needles: 3.25mm

Loosely cast on 48sts. Divide over 3 double-pointed needles and join being careful not to twist the sts.
Work in K3 P1 rib for 7 inches (or preferred length)

Heel Flap:
Knit 24sts turn
Row 1: Sl1 purl to end
Row 2: Sl1 K1 repeat to end
Repeat rows 1 & 2 14 more times.

Shape Heel:
Row 1: K 14 sts, ssk, k1, turn.
Row 2: Sl 1, p5, p2tog, p1, turn.
Row 3: Sl1, k to one stitch before turning gap, ssk, k1, turn.
Row 4: Sl1, p to one stitch before turning gap, p2tog, p1, turn.
Repeat Rows 3 and 4 until all sts have been used
End on WS row with either p2 tog or p2 tog, p1.
14 sts on needle

Gusset:
1. Pick up 15 stitches knitwise down side 1 of the heel flap. Place a marker.
2. Rib across the 24 stitches from the cuff.
3. Place a marker, then pick up 15 stitches knitwise up side 2 of the heel flap.
You should have 68 stitches.

Now continue with the following 2 rounds, until 48 stitches remain:
1. Knit up to 3 stitches away from the first marker, then Knit 2 together, then Knit 1.
Slip the first marker, then Knit across until you reach the next marker.
Slip the second marker, then Knit 1, then S2K2tog, then knit to the end of the round.
2. Knit around.

When you have 48 stitches remaining, continue without decreasing until foot measures at least 8 inches (UK size 6) from back of heel. You can adjust the length at this point. The easiest way to work out a size is to ask a friend to measure their foot! For men, size 8 or 9 is ideal.

Toe
1. (Toe Decrease Round) K1, ssk, k to end of Needle 1; k to last 3 sts of Needle 2, k2tog, k1; k1, ssk,
k to end of Needle 3; k to last 3 sts of Needle 4, k2tog, k1. 4 sts decreased.
2. K around.

Repeat these 2 rounds until 20sts remain
Use Kitchener stitch to graft these stitches.

Categories
Craft Real Life

Knitting for the Community of Camden Churches Cold Weather Shelter

A challenge to all knitters: How many items of warm clothing can we give to homeless people in London this winter?

C4WS – the Community of Camden Churches Cold Weather Shelter – opens its doors every year from December to March to offer shelter, food and company to up to fifteen homeless guests every night (67 during the last winter). Our guests are of all ages, genders and backgrounds and last year, of the guests that actively engaged with the C4WS Welfare Worker, 96% were assisted in securing accommodation, returning home or moving in with friends.

This year we are asking for donations from an army of generous knitters. Some volunteers during the time we’ve been open have knitted warm clothing for our guests. This makes a real difference to them, because not only are they able to keep warm during the bitterly cold daytime (when we cannot open our doors), but they know someone has cared enough to give them a personal gift.

If you are able, we would ask you to knit an item of clothing (anything from socks to a sweater) but please bear in mind the following guidelines:

1) Please don’t use fibres that cannot be treated roughly or washed in a normal cycle.
2) The guests of C4WS are very diverse, so please use neutral colours and styles.

Once you have made your item, please contact me through this blog for the address to send them on to.

We would ask you to please cover the cost of postage.

If there is anything left over at the end of the scheme, we intend to sell it to raise further funds for C4WS – nothing will be wasted.

Week 0: Things I have learned

Things I have learned about Oxford:

  1. There is a different word for everything here. Fees are ‘battels’, Freshers’ week is ‘Week 0’ or ‘Noughth week’, a PhD is a ‘DPhil’, etc.
  2. You can be fined £50 for not wearing the correct academic dress – right down to your freshly laundered black socks – on certain occasions (including exams),
  3. Blackwell’s on Broad Street is amazing. It is now my joint-equal favourite bookshop alongside Waterstone’s Gower Street (London),
  4. The University of Cambridge was founded because of scholars dissenting from Oxford (rather like UCL from King’s, I suppose),
  5. Lectures are optional, and any student of the University can attend any lecture,
  6. If you place the Examination Regulations book against a wall and hit the bottom of a wine bottle against it a few times, you can remove the cork without a corkscrew.
The Cloisters and the House
(from www.ssho.ox.ac.uk) 
Things I have learned about St. Stephen’s House,
  1. The current buildings were originally the residence of a closed religious order called the Cowley* Fathers, there is a secret staircase to the street that was used by a doctor to avoid breaching the closed order, and the old mortuary is now the House computer room (it’s still pretty chill in there),
  2. The House has only been a full Permanent Private Hall of the University since 2004, and it remains the case that a large number of students are Anglican ordinands.
  3. The Founders’ Chapel in the roof has a mural in which the saints are apparently depicted with the faces of various former members of staff, and if the windows in the chapel are opened, “pigeons come in and crap everywhere and you have to get a man with a gun to shoot them”.
I’m sure there was more said this week than that, it’s amazing how quickly it deserts you! I’m really enjoying my time here so far, everyone is delightful and I think the structure of the days (based around prayer and mass services) is really lovely. It’s nice to have a motivation to get up at 6:30am, so I can really get going with things. I’m hoping it will help to keep me on track with my studies. I haven’t made it to evensong yet, because I’m nervous about singing the wrong tunes. That said, no one has minded yet that I keep making mistakes, thank God for the patience of the church and her clergy!
On that note, I already have work to be cracking on with. I’m looking forward to lectures starting for me on Tuesday, and have got several courses of lectures mapped out this term that I’m planning to attend. These range from the ones that will get me through my exams (Introductions to the Old and New Testaments, Christian Moral Reasoning, God, Christ and Salvation) through to the things that interest me (Religious Philosophy, Diversity in the Church). Whatever else happens, it’s going to be a good year of learning. 
*Cow in Cowley is pronounced like the animal, not so that it rhymes with Rowley!